Fishing
by Open Casket Ceremony
Summary: According to Isshin, getting someone to fall in love with you is like fishing. But Ichigo is convinced it's not that easy, especially if you're aiming for Hitsugaya Toshiro. IchiHitsu. T for some risque humor. Attempted humor, anyway.
1. Baiting the Hook

Author's Note: Um, this is one of my first Bleach fics, so be kind. Everyone might be a little out of character, and I'm not very fond of my writing style myself...

Takes place during the Arrancar arc when Hitsugaya and Co. are in the real world. If I remember correctly, I believe Hitsugaya and Matsumoto were staying over at Orihime's place.

And yes, I am aware of the fact that Hitsugaya's first name is Toshiro, but I will be referring to him as Hitsugaya.

So, here goes.

* * *

Ichigo had only seen the kid a few times in his life, and yet, he was already madly in love. 

And he had been stupid enough to admit it to Yuzu, who had excitedly and promptly told Isshin, who, in turn, had hurried to his son's side to offer encouragement that was both unwanted and unneeded.

"You've got to snag him like a fish on a hook, and then reel 'im in!" the overly dramatic doctor declared, thumping poor Ichigo on the back, whose facial color at the moment resembled an overripe tomato. "At least, that's how I got your mother."

Not appreciating this advice at all, Ichigo attempted to sulk off to his room. Renji had popped in for a visit, and was stifling his laughter, so one could only imagine how humiliated poor Ichigo was.

He had no such luck.

"Daddy!" Yuzu shrieked, pointing excitedly at someone out the window. "That's him! That's the boy onii-chan likes!"

Indeed, a white-haired and emerald-eyed boy was walking by, toting several grocery bags, obviously on his way back to Orihime's humble abode after a grocery shopping trip.

"What!?" Renji spluttered after taking a look out the window. "Ichigo likes Hitsugaya-taichou!?"

Isshin rushed to the windowsill as fast as his legs would carry him, peering out and exclaiming, "Aha! So _that's_ Hitsugaya Toshiro!" A smile crossed his face. "A real catch that is! I'm so proud of you, son!"

Ichigo blinked. "You're acting like we're dating," he muttered sullenly. "We barely even know each other."

"Then what are you waiting for!? Go get him!"

Without warning, Isshin planted his foot on Ichigo's back and kicked him - hard. The impact sent the poor strawberry hurling out the door like an orange-haired missile, slamming right into the unsuspecting Hitsugaya and bowling him over.

Ichigo moaned in pain, but froze instantly when he realized a smaller body was trapped underneath his. Mortified, he instantly scrambled back to his feet to reveal a very frazzled-looking boy whose groceries had spilled all across the sidewalk.

"Um, hi."

"Oh. It's you," was the blunt reply.

Ichigo rubbed the back of his head awkwardly before finally saying, "Um, this might sound really weird, Toshiro...but, um...I was going out to eat tonight...and, er...I was wondering, if you'd like to come with me?"

Hitsugaya gave Ichigo a long, surprised stare.

"Erm, yes...I would love to."

"Great!" the ecstatic teen exclaimed as he took Hitsugaya's hand and helped him to his feet. "You're staying over at Inoue's place, right? I'll come by and pick you up at around six, okay? Okay, great! Oh, wait - Let me help you with those." He knelt on the ground and frantically began scooping up the spilled groceries, placing them back into their respective bags and handing them back to Hitsugaya.

"There you go."

"Thank you."

"See you later then, Toshiro!"

"You too." And then he was gone.

Feeling light and carefree, Ichigo watched Hitsugaya leave before cheerfully making his way back into the house.

Instantly, Isshin, Renji, Yuzu, and Karin were upon him before he had the chance to close the foor behind him.

"How'd it go?" Karin demanded.

"Um, I asked him to dinner."

"And what'd he say?"

"He said he'd love to."

Renji's jaw dropped. "Wow," the redhead managed to choke out increduously. "He must really like you."

"You think so?" Ichigo inquired.

"Yeah," Renji answered. "He _never_ says 'yes' to dates. You have no idea how many times he's been asked out in the past."

Ichigo blinked in disbelief.

"Almost everyone has at some point," Renji explained. "Ikkaku kept asking, probably about eight times, before Hitsugaya-taichou finally smacked him across the face and said that bald guys disgusted him. Even Byakuya-taichou tried!"

"You're kidding! And how about you?"

Renji's expression changed into one that looked extremely dejected.

Ichigo sighed. "I take that as a yes."

* * *

AN: Um, yeah. That was it.

I know, it sucks.

And I know, I'm a terrible fanfiction writer.

But hey, IchiHitsu is my favorite Bleach pairing, so why not.


	2. Casting the Line

Author's Note: Um, due to semi-popular request, I think I'm going to continue this fic for a little bit. I don't know how it will turn out, or if it will become stagnant after a while, but here goes.

* * *

Five-twenty PM. 

Isshin had been watching the clock in a manner almost obsessive for the past hour or so, stealing occasional glances at the closed door of his son's bedroom. Yuzu was not too far away, quietly following her father's example. Karin, on the other hand, like usual, was plain annoyed and could care less about her Ichi-nii's love life.

Ichigo and Renji were both sitting on Ichigo's bed behind locked doors as the strawberry was staring nervously at the clock. Time was ticking by in an extremely painful fashion, and the strawberry was faced with a monumentous obstacle.

What.

The.

Hell.

Was.

He.

Supposed.

To.

Wear.

"Renji? Can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

Ichigo swallowed hard before blurting out, "What kind of outfit do you think would make me look hot?"

He recieved no answer other than a very creeped out expression plastered on his comrade's face.

* * *

Several blocks away, in the home of Inoue Orihime. 

The girl herself was out visiting with Tatsuki, leaving the taichou and fukutaichou of the tenth division by themselves in her house.

As usual, Matsumoto was lying on the floor, humming a tune as she flipped through insipid fashion magazines and munched on some tasty cookies that she had found in Orihime's cupboards.

And, _unlike_ usual, Hitsugaya was not doing paperwork or sending his latest report to Soul Society.

He was pacing back and forth across the room, an expression on his face that blurred the lines of worry, nervousness, and concern. Matsumoto could not help but notice this, and frowning, she rolled over onto her back, looking up at her captain.

"Eh? Is something bothering you, taichou?"

"Matsumoto. I have a problem that I would like to discuss with you." He seated himself on the floor next to his fukutaichou.

Matsumoto's brow's creased in worry. What was wrong? It was rare that her captain took time out of his schedule to personally talk to her. Was there some kind of plot he had uncovered? Had there been an Aizen sighting? Was another wave of Arrancar on their way to the real world?

So imagine her surprise when instead, she recieved the following statement.

"I'm going on a date tonight."

_What the hell!?_

* * *

After much consultation with both Renji, and after rejecting several outfits that one might find another to be wearing in a male strip club, Ichigo finally was ready to embark on his grand quest. 

Physically ready, at least.

Mentally ready? Not in at least another hundred years.

His eyes skimmed his outfit in horror. Dark, torn jeans worn over a faded and slightly-too-large Grateful Dead T-shirt. He didn't even know who the hell the Grateful Dead were. He had only thrown it on after Renji insisted that "Hitsugaya-taichou likes tough guys." To top it off, over this atrocious shirt he had pulled a striped hoodie that had caused Karin to mutter "faggot" when she had seen him.

"Renji...I look like a hobo," he muttered. "Toshiro's going to puke when he sees me." Slowly, his ego was falling further and further into the dark abyss of doom.

"No, you look _hot_," Renji insisted. "You look _hip._ You look _today._"

Ichigo stared at Renji like he had maggots crawling out of his ears.

Isshin, on the other hand, was moved to tears. "My son," he bawled, "My son Ichigo has finally become a man!"

"You sure, Dad?" Karin retorted. "Are you sure he hasn't become a _woman_?"

"Karin!" Yuzu protested. "Nii-chan looks just fine!"

"Does not," Karin shot back. "He looks like a monochrome nightmare."

How encouraging this all was to poor Ichigo, who realized it was too late to change outfits as he trudged out the door, tailed by Isshin's cheering and shouts of encouragement.

"Don't forget, my son - dating is like fishing! Bait him and reel him in! Now go make your father proud!"

* * *

Presently, after several minutes of walking through the cold, crisp night air, and after stopping by the local florist, Ichigo finally made his way to Orihime's house. Sweating with nervous tension, he slowly forced himself to raise a finger and ring the doorbell, dreading the moment that his date would catch sight of him. 

To his relief, it was not Hitsugaya who answered the door, but instead, Orihime.

"K-Kurosaki-kun?" she asked, looking up at Ichigo who had suddenly appeared at her doorstep, sweating like a pig and clutching a boquet of withering roses. It was like all her dreams had come true. The man of her eternal affections had finally come to profess his love for her...

Her dreams were shattered into millions of pieces at the words that came next.

"Is Toshiro there?"

Resisting the urge to shriek in anguish, Orihime weakly nodded instead. "Y-Yeah..." She turned, looking over her shoulder, calling, "Toshiro-kun! Kurosaki-kun wants to talk to you."

A few moments later, Hitsugaya appeared in the doorway next to Orihime, clad in a navy blue collared short-sleeved shirt and a pair of black jeans. At that moment, Ichigo thought that his heart was going to burst out of his chest and splatter on the floor in a messy lump of blood and internal organs.

The outfit that Matsumoto had selected for the child prodigy had been carefully chosen out to emphasize his hair and eye color, as well as to highlight his slim waist. Hitsugaya was entirely unaware of these deliberate choices, but at the sight of it, Ichigo could definitely feel his face start to heat up.

"Toshiro...You look...you look..."

Hitsugaya raised an eyebrow.

"You look really sexy," Ichigo spluttered. As soon as the words came out of his mouth, horrified, he instantly wished he could take them back. What a pervert he must have made himself sound. "Kurosaki Ichigo, you moron," he mentally wailed.

Hitsugaya stared at Ichigo with an expression that seemed both horrified and disgusted.

And poor Orihime looked like she was about to die.

Quickly, Ichigo switched tactics. He was blowing it. The night was already becoming a disaster.

He hastily thrust the roses into Hitsugaya's arms. "These are for you," he explained. "So, um, shall we go, then?"

"I suppose," the flustered Hitsugaya managed to respond as he looked at the roses in his arms with bewilderment, also taking note that several thorns were stabbing his wrists.

As the two departed, a final comment from Matsumoto, shrieked as loud as she could muster in such a way that the whole neighborhood could probably hear, caused Ichigo's face to pale and Hitsugaya's to flush a deep red.

"Oi! If you guys feel the call of nature, taichou, don't forget to tell Ichigo-san to use a condom!"


	3. Catch of the Day

Author's Note: Thanks to everyone for the reviews. It's actually rather encouraging to see so much positive feedback (I wasn't really expecting any at all), but constructive criticism would also benefit me greatly, so go ahead and pluck me apart.

Here's Chapter Three. Enjoy. (And in case you haven't noticed, the chapter titles correspond to the theme of the title, Fishing.)

* * *

The pair walked to the restaurant in silence. 

They were both at a loss of words.

In Ichigo's case, he was too freaked out to speak. After all, he'd probably end up saying something else that unintentionally sounded suggestive, perverted, or plain stupid. He couldn't afford to humiliate himself. And besides, he was too occupied at the moment by trying not to throw up.

As for Hitsugaya, silence was a natural instinct.

But this was making these a whole lot more awkward and painful.

"Um, so Toshiro-"

"It's _Hitsugaya-taichou_."

Ichigo swallowed. Hitsugaya's response had come with such venom that he was wondering if their bad start had already made a permanent impression on the young captain. If he had already decided he hated him, Ichigo was pretty sure that suicide would be a very good option.

But Renji had insisted that he address him by "Toshiro," as he had put it, "To establish a friendly bond, as opposed to a captain-subordinate relationship." But he was starting to doubt Renji's advice, but he still intended on following it, since he _did_ have a point, but if it failed, then homicide seemed like a _better_ option.

At last, a wave of relief washed over Ichigo as the restaurant he had in mind had come into view. "Um, that's where we're going to eat," he muttered, glancing at Hitsugaya's face. It was still rigid, as if made out of ice.

Damn.

They made their way to the reception, and by the looks of it, the restaurant was already bustling with happy customers. Customers, Ichigo noted with a pang of admiration, that were probably infinetely more happy than him, and Hitsugaya as well, for that matter.

"Young man, do you have a reservation?"

Ichigo blinked. Ah, yes. The reservation. "Yeah," he answered to the employee who had addressed him. "Yeah. I do."

"Name, please?"

"Kurosaki Ichigo."

There was a moment of silence as the snobbish, tuxeudo-clad receptionist looked down a long list of names. He frowned, stroking his curly mustache for a moment before finally saying, "I don't see your name here."

"It's there," Ichigo insisted. "Look again, maybe you missed it."

There was another silence.

"Young man, I've looked over the list three times, and I see 'Kurosaki Ichigo' nowhere."

"Look," Ichigo snapped, getting impatient. The date had started off terribly, and he was going to be one pissed of strawberry if the unpleasant streak continued. "I made a reservation earlier this afternoon for two people. This is really important to me, okay? And if you don't find my name right now, I'll-"

"Young man, if you continue to use such a tone of voice, I'll have to ask you and your little friend to leave."

Hitsugaya glared icily at the receptionist with his infamous death glare, the one usually reserved for a drunken Matsumoto slacking off on her paperwork. "Sir, I suggest you just let us in."

The receptionist shuddered. Was it just him, or had the temperature in the room dropped?

"Right this way," he squeaked, scrambling in search of an empty table for two.

The two were seated at a small, relatively quiet table, and they were presented with two menus. The waiteress beamed at Hitsugaya, saying, "Would you like a children's menu instead, darling?"

An icy glare was enough to tell her that the answer was most definetely a "_Hell no, bitch_."

The waiteress felt a shiver go down her spine, and she concluded that it was probably better to talk to the boy's orange-haired companion instead. "Sir," she said, turning to Ichigo, "May I reccomend some dishes?"

"Er, yeah. That would be great."

"Well, our Catch of the Day is yellowtail. The yellowtail sashimi platter is only 800 yen."

"Um, we'll take that then. Is that alright with you, Toshiro?"

Hitsugaya looked up at Ichigo, observing his hopeful facial expression for a moment before finally nodding.

"Yeah. The yellowtail."

"We'll have it for you as soon as possible, sir."

"Thanks."

* * *

Presently, both were eating their meals of yellowtail sashimi, over a painful, stagnant silence, save the clinking of chopsticks and quiet chewing of food. 

Ichigo cautiously peered up from his plate, watching Hitsugaya eat in hopes that he was enjoying his dinner, and it would act as compensation for earlier in the evening.

He watched discreetly as the boy delicately selected a piece of raw fish from his plate with the use of chopsticks held between his thin fingers, and he felt like heart was going to fall into his stomach as he unconciously began to wonder what those fingers would feel like against bare flesh.

Shaking the thoughts from his mind, he continued to observe as Hitsugaya put the piece of fish to his lips. And Ichigo nearly had a nosebleed upon wondering what it would be like to kiss those lips. Stupid piece of fish was damn lucky.

He quickly averted his gaze, trying to rid his mind of impure thoughts by feigning sudden interest with a grain of rice.

After what seemed like an eternity of excruciating silence, both boys were finally done with their meals, rising from their seats to depart.

Ichigo was convinced that the rest of the night would be better, if he tried really hard.

How wrong he was.


	4. Dirty Fishies

Author's Note: Ah, poor Ichigo. Things are going terribly for him, but I don't think I'm done tormenting him quite yet. Heheh. But he'll get his reward for being so cooperative. Some reviews have also given me some good ideas, so I think I might incorporate them at some point.

Oh, and there's some fluff up ahead. Not too much, but I suppose it would be best to warn you anyway.

* * *

As the two made their way out of the restaurant and back into the cold of the night, Ichigo resolved with fervor that he was going to make the rest of the night a success. And nothing was going to stop him. 

With the exception of a higher power.

Such as the rain.

And boy, did it rain. Hard.

"Oh, damn," Ichigo whispered to himself as he could feel the rain pouring from the sky and drenching both him and Hitsugaya. What the hell was this, an international _Kill Ichigo's Ego At All Costs_ holiday that even the gods had decided to participate in?

He glanced at Hitsugaya, who seemed unfazed by the biting cold. He supposed he was used to it by now, but nonetheless, Ichigo decided, this pathetic rain was unworthy of pouring itself upon his regal white crown of hair.

He removed his hideous jacket and held it over Hitsugaya's head as a makeshift umbrella in a feeble attempt to sheild the boy from the unrelenting rain.

"Come on," he muttered, taking Hitsugaya by the hand and quickly leading him to a shaded area under the overhanging roof of a nearby building, where they seated themselves on a conveniently located bench. "Don't want you to catch a cold," he explained lamely.

Hitsugaya gave Ichigo a strange look before finally answering, "You know, I can take care of myself."

"Y-Yeah, I know," Ichigo muttered. "Sorry, Toshiro, I just...I just...I was just kind of worried about you."

Hitsugaya glanced dubiously back at him.

Ichigo gulped. "Um, hey, are you cold?"

"No."

"Not even a little bit?"

"No."

"Not even the teeniest, tiniest bit?"

"_No._"

The ice in his voice told Ichigo that it was best not to press the subject any further. But he knew better. He glanced at Hitsugaya's hands, and he frowned as he noticed that they were shaking.

"You are _too_ cold," Ichigo insisted, taking the boy's hands within his own and rubbing them gently in an attempt to warm them up. The boy did nothing to stop him, so Ichigo assumed it was okay to continue, and possibly take it to the next level.

Cautiously, whilst holding Hitsugaya's hands with one of his own, Ichigo carefully wrapped his free arm around the child prodigy's shoulders, and he breathed in relief as instead of pulling away as he had expected, Hitsugaya actually allowed himself to accept Ichigo's offer and lightly rest his head against his chest.

"There now, are you still cold?" Ichigo teased, ruffling the smaller boy's hair.

"Shut up," Hitsugaya murmured, but there was no malice in this statement.

Ichigo felt like the luckiest kid alive.

It was a rare occasion that _anyone_ at all would get to _snuggle_ with the captain of the tenth division. Let alone in the middle of public. Let alone in the middle of a rainstorm and on some random bench with gum stuck to the seat.

So why not take a chance right now?

Hesitantly, the strawberry quickly leaned downwards and gave Hitsugaya a quick peck on the lips before withdrawing.

_"Oh, god," _he thought._ "What the hell did I just do? You stupid moron, Kurosaki Ichigo," _he scolded himself, _"Learn to control your freaking hormones already, dammit!"_

But instead of the apocalypse, what happened next was unexpected - and Ichigo _really_ liked it.

Hitsugaya tilted his head upwards to return Ichigo's kiss, gently pressing his lips against his.

And somehow or another, an innocent first-kiss turned into a full blown make-out session, with both boys flopped out across the bench in a most unceremonious fashion, with Ichigo somehow ending up on top of Hitsugaya.

They wouldn't have done it if they had known that _someone_ was watching them.

* * *

A few blocks away, Matsumoto and Orihime were sitting next to each other on a plush couch, watching soap operas and enjoying some cookies and various other articles of junk food. 

Both women watched, wide-eyed as the TV set unfolded scenes of drama and betrayal.

_"How could you cheat on me? I thought you loved me!"  
"But, darling, I do love you!"  
"You lying son of a bitch!"  
"NOOOOOOOOOO! DON'T PULL THE TRIGGER-"  
BAM. _

Before they could see what happened next, the door suddenly burst open, revealing a sopping wet Renji, who flung himself in front of the television set, blocking their view. 

"Renji!" Matsumoto whined. "You idiot! It was at a good part, too!"

"I'm sorry, Matsumoto," Renji panted. "But I have _really_ bad news to tell you. It's about Ichigo and Hitsugaya-taichou..."

"What's wrong with taichou?" Matsumoto asked, alarmed.

"Is Kurosaki-kun alright?" Orihime inquired.

"On my way from Urahara's shop to your place, I saw Hitsugaya-taichou and Ichigo..." Renji began.

"_Just tell us!"_

Renji gulped and nodded before finally mustering the courage to blurt it out.

_"They were having sex on a bench in the middle of the sidewalk!"_


	5. The Fish is Caught

Author's Note: Yikes. Ichigo and Hitsugaya were really going at it, weren't they? Damn. I feel impure now.

Fluff warning up ahead. Not a lot, though. Less than last chapter.

* * *

At about 1:00 AM in the morning, a bedraggled-looking and sopping wet Hitsugaya stumbled through the door of the Inoue residence. Even at such a late hour, Matsumoto was still up, waiting for her taichou and ready to interrogate him. 

The white-haired boy flinched as Matsumoto's breasts popped into his field of vision.

"Taichou!" she wailed, pulling her captain into a crushing embrace. "I was _so_ worried about you! Where were you all this time? Why are you home so late? And furthermore..." At this point, her tone darkened. "Why were you having sex with that Ichigo kid?"

"What!?" Hitsugaya spluttered, face flushing a deep red.

"Did you guys use a condom?" Matsumoto inquired in a worried tone. "You know my motto - No sex is better than unsafe sex."

"Look, Matsumoto," Hitsugaya growled. "It's late at night, I have a headache, I'm wet, and I have no idea what you're talking about. Leave me alone and let me go to sleep."

Matsumoto blinked before a horrified expression took over her features. "He raped you, didn't he!?"

_"No!"_ Hitsugaya snapped, the fuse of his temper becoming increasingly short. "We didn't do anything disgusting like that, alright?"

"Liar!" Matsumoto accused. "Renji saw you guys!"

"It was just a kiss," Hitsugaya muttered. "And nothing more."

"Ooh, taichou," Matsumoto sing-songed. "You're blushing! You are _so_ in love!"

The temperature dropped dangerously low, and Matsumoto quickly decided it was about time to shut up.

* * *

Similar treatment awaited Ichigo as he returned to his home slightly later, soaking wet and tired, but very, very, very happy. 

His light mood, however, did not last long. As soon as he stepped into the house, he was bombarded with questions from his father, who had been waiting the whole time for his son to return.

"Ah, my boy, you're finally back! How'd it go? Did you have a nice time?"

"It was pretty good," Ichigo mused. "I want to sleep now. Move."

"Wait, Ichigo!" Isshin wailed as his son retreated in the direction of his bedroom. "You must tell me more!"

"Daddy!" Yuzu shrieked. "Abarai-san came in earlier today and said that he saw onii-chan..."

"What? Yuzu, you're still awake?" Ichigo blinked. Then, reality struck him. If Renji had seen him with Hitsugaya in their private happy time on the bench, and if he had told Yuzu...

"That's my girl," Isshin beamed, patting Yuzu on the head. "Daddy's proud of you - Hold on a moment there, what did Abarai-san say?"

Yuzu stared up at Ichigo with wide eyes before looking to her expectant father. "He said that-"

"Shut up, Yuzu!" Ichigo screeched, launching himself across the room and clapping a hand over his younger sister's mouth. "I mean, uh...isn't it late for you to be up? Go to sleep, alright?"

"Go on, Yuzu! Tell Daddy!" Isshin encouraged.

Yuzu bit down on Ichigo's hand. Hard.

Howling in pain, Ichigo withdrew his grasp, sulking and proceeding to nurse his poor Yuzu-bitten hand.

"Abarai-san said that he saw onii-chan having sex with Hitsugaya-kun on a bench!" she shrieked.

The room went deathly silent.

And as if things weren't bad already, Karin had been woken up by the commotion, and had come down just in time to hear Yuzu's proclamation of Renji's account of the recent events and occurences between her brother and his date.

_"WHAT!?"_ Ichigo shrieked. "He said _what!?_"

"He said that he saw you and Hitsugaya-kun having sex!" Yuzu wailed, eyes brimming with tears. "Onii-chan, you're disgusting!"

"He didn't-"

Karin raised an eyebrow, cutting him off. "You mean you _raped_ him?"

"Ichigo, my boy," Isshin protested. "It's okay to be in love, and it's okay to have hormones, but it's _not_ okay to rape someone else!"

"No!" Ichigo snapped. "We didn't do _anything!_ Honestly!"

"Nothing?" Isshin inquired, a dejected expression on his face. "Not even a kiss?"

"Fine!" Ichigo roared, throwing his hands up in exasperation, shooting death glares at Yuzu and Karin. Yuzu instantly burst into tears, and Karin rolled her eyes. "We kissed, alright? Happy!?"

There was another long silence.

"Ichigo, I'm so proud of you," Isshin sobbed.

All three of his children merely stared at him in both confusion and disgust.

At that moment, there was a soft knocking on the door, and the Kurosaki family froze on the spot.

Ichigo scurried to the door, opening it without hesatation despite Yuzu's protests that there might be a kidnapper at the door. But he knew this reiatsu, so he didn't have to look to be sure who it was as he opened the door.

"Toshiro? What're you doing here?"

"Matsumoto wouldn't get off my case," Hitsugaya muttered irritably in response. "Mind if I stay here for the night? If I stayed over at Inoue's, I would be driven insane."

"Oh...yeah. Yeah, that's fine, come inside," Ichigo insisted, closing the door after Hitsugaya had entered. "If you say anything, I'll kill you," he mouthed at his father and sisters.

Isshin, Yuzu, and Karin were staring at Hitsugaya as if he was an alien from a foreign planet as he stepped inside. To save him from embarassment, Ichigo quickly grabbed his hand and led him into his bedroom, closing the door behind him and locking it.

And several moments later, after bickering over who would have to sleep on the floor and who would get to sleep on the bed, Ichigo finally came to a conclusion. Why not _share_ the bed?

After all, sharing is caring, right?

Without another word, Ichigo lifted Hitsugaya up bridal style, despite his constant protests and complaints, and plopped him down on his bed, pulling the blankets over him before climbing in next to him.

Too tired to oppose, Hitsugaya sleepily gave Ichigo a feeble smack on the head before falling right asleep in his arms.

* * *

Author's Note: Ah, sickeningly sappy attempted fluff. How you hate it. 


	6. Bickering Fishermen

Author's Note: I was rather unhappy with the last chapter. I just don't like how it came out. Hopefully, this one will be somewhat better. I apologize for the last one's unsatisfactory quality.

* * *

"Onii-chan! Breakfast is ready!" Yuzu shrieked, pounding on Ichigo's bedroom door. "And Abarai-san's here and wants to talk to you! Onii-chan! Why is your door locked? Open it right now! _Onii-chan!"_

Ichigo, however, did not respond, though he was fully aware of Yuzu's screeching. Staying warm in bed, all nice and snuggled up with a certain white-haired taichou seemed like much more fun than getting up to face the terrors of a new day.

Smiling to himself, he patted Hitsugaya's head, who in turn, let out a sleepy moan.

Karin walked by the room to see Yuzu pounding on Ichigo's door and screaming whilst stamping her feet. Rolling her eyes, the darker haired twin muttered, "Why don't you just do this?"

"Huh?"

Before Yuzu could say another word, Karin had smashed her foot into the door, literally sending it flying off its hinges and crashing to the floor, a loud noise which attracted Isshin and the "conveniently" visiting Renji to the scene as well.

The four of them stared into the room, dumbstruck.

Ichigo was lying in his bed, a rigid, deer-caught-in-the-headlights expression on his face. His arms were wrapped around Hitsugaya, who, upon noticing the predicament they were trapped in, also froze in horror.

"Th-This isn't what it look like!" Ichigo protested, mortified, as he and Hitsugaya sprang apart from each other.

"Hitsugaya-taichou!?" Renji spluttered. "You...You're sleeping with Ichigo!?"

"Am not," Hitsugaya retorted. "We just...We were just..."

"We were looking for something!" Ichigo cut in quickly.

"Yeah," Hitsugaya muttered. "Ichigo lost something under the covers of his bed and we were looking for it."

"R-Right. What he said," Ichigo agreed, nodding vigorously.

Renji raised a doubtful eyebrow. There was no way in hell he was going to believe this. "And looking for 'something' requires putting your hands all over Hitsugaya-taichou, I assume?" he asked sarcastically, rolling his eyes heavenward.

"I wasn't touching him!" Ichigo protested.

"Liar! You were so! I saw you with my own eyes!" Renji shrieked, pointing at his eyeballs.

"You're blind!"

"Am not!'

"Then you're insane!"

"Take that back!"

"No!"

_"SHUT UP!"_

Both Renji and Ichigo froze in the midts of their bickering, noting that the temperature was dropping rapidly. They both looked at Hitsugaya, who had hopped out of Ichigo's bed, and after straightening his shirt, muttered, "This is stupid. I'm going back to Inoue's."

"Aw, Toshiro, don't be like that," Ichigo protested.

"Don't go, Hitsugaya-taichou," Renji begged.

Ignoring them both, Hitsugaya made his way out the room, past Ichigo's stunned family members. There was silence as they listened to footsteps moving down the stairs, before the front door slammed shut and he was gone.

"Now look what you did!" Renji hissed. "You pissed him off!"

"Me!?" Ichigo shot back. "_You_ were the one who had to just barge in here!"

"At least _I_ didn't sleep with him! Slut!"

"Oh, yeah? Well, I bet that you _wish_ you could!"

"Take that back!"

"Never!"

"You take that back right now!

"You're just mad because you're jealous! And I did _not_ have sex with him, so what'd you have to tell my sister that for!?"

"I am not jealous!"

"Shut up or I'll go Getsuga Tenshou on your ass!"

"Bring it on, strawberry!"

"I'll kick your tatooed ass back to Soul Society!"

And so, like usual, the two went bickering away, firing dirty words and sticking up rude fingers at each other. Because that was _totally_ the way mature, grown, men handle their disputes. And things only got worse when Ichigo found out that Renji had also told Orihime and Matsumoto that the two had been doing impure things.

This was going to be one long and completely immature arguement.


	7. A Fishy Conversation

Author's Note: Last chapter was kind of short...this one may be a little short as well. Also, thanks to everyone who is reviewing, I really appreciate that you all have been able to put with my poor writing techniques for so long already.

And, in the following chapter, the telephone dialogue between Hitsugaya and Ichigo was stolen from _Blades of Glory_. That movie is hilarious, and I couldn't resist borrowing some humor. Even if it's risque. Which reminds me - Dirty humor warning up ahead. And I didn't come up with it. As previously mentioned, I took it from _Blades of Glory_ and modified it. So here you go.

* * *

After hours of endless, immature, and heated bickering, Ichigo somehow ended up smashing at least three coffee mugs against Renji's forehead, and in return, Renji had nearly knocked the strawberry out by hurling a lamp at his head. 

And in the end, they finally came to terms, but not without the applicable amount of bruises, scrapes, and to some degree, mild mental trauma and some throats very hoarse from yelling at each other.

"You'd better call Hitsugaya-taichou," Renji instructed, "And apologize for what happened this morning."

"Me!?" Ichigo spluttered. "_You're_ the one who needs to apologize! Why should _I_ have to call him?"

"Because _you're_ the one who's sleeping with him, smart-ass. Geez, are you a man or not?"

"Fine," Ichigo snapped, snatching the phone from his bedside table. "Since I'm so much more manly than you, I'll do the calling, but _you_ are going to tell me just what, exactly, I need to say."

"Deal," Renji agreed. "I'll back you up."

Hesitantly, Ichigo punched in the numbers that consisted of Orihime's phone number. After listening to the monotonous toning for a second or two, Orihime's bright voice answered on the other line.

"Hey, Inoue," Ichigo said quickly, "Can you hand the phone to Toshiro?"

"Yeah."

Ichigo could of swore that Orihime's peppy voice suddenly morphed into a gloomy tone.

Meanwhile, at the Inoue residence, Orihime hurried into the living room, where Hitsugaya was briefing Matsumoto on various types of Arrancar. She handed the boy the phone, and with a dull expression on his face, Hitsugaya put the phone to his ear.

"Who is it?" Matsumoto inquired.

"Kurosaki," was the bitter reply. "What am I supposed to say to him?"

Matsumoto's eyes lit up. "Don't worry, taichou, I'm an expert at this. Just say everything I tell you to. Tell him you just got out of the shower."

Hitsugaya blinked, raising an eyebrow, but chose to follow Matsumoto's advice.

"Um, you just caught me getting out of the shower."

On the other line, Ichigo gave Renji a look of panic. "He just got out of the shower!" he hissed. "This is so rude! We should call back later-"

"No," Renji insisted. "There's no backing out now. Say, 'Shower? I need one of those. I just got back from the gym, doing my squat thrusts.' Say it."

Ichigo gave Renji a look of horror, but despite his confusion, casually answered into the phone. "Oh, shower? I need one of those. I just got back from the gym...doing my...my...uh, squat thrusts."

Back in Orihime's home, Matsumoto have her captain an encouraging smile. "Tell him that squat thrusts are _hard_," she coached. "_Real hard._"

Hitsugaya returned a look that read, "What the hell?" but he did as told, muttering into the phone, "Squat thrusts must be _hard_..._real hard._"

Following Renji's instruction, Ichigo responded, "Yeah. I can feel a burn...uh, deep up in my thighs."

And following _Matsumoto's_ instruction, Hitsugaya's response was as follows, "Do you know what is good for a burn? Pour some...some...pour some sweet cream on it..." He was blushing insanely, but Matsumoto insisted that he continue to say everything she told him to, and having no better ideas, Hitsugaya was forced to do just that.

"Ichigo, now say-" Renji began, but Ichigo cut him off with a wave of his hand. "Forget it," he hissed. "This is stupid. I'll talk to him myself." Before Renji could protest, Ichigo turned away from him and went straight to the point.

"Look, Toshiro, I'm sorry about this morning. If there's anything I can do to make up for it-"

"No, it's alright," Hitsugaya muttered. "You don't have to apologize."

Matsumoto poked her taichou between the shoulders. "Say that some good, old-fashioned sex is all he needs to give you to earn forgiveness," she hissed. Hitsugaya gave her a glare, mouthing, "_No_. _That's disgusting._"

"So, um, Toshiro, you want to uh...go get some snow cones or something later tonight?"

Ichigo mentally kicked himself. What the hell? Snow cones? In the middle of winter? Who was stupid enough to eat snow cones in the dead of winter, when in Japan, the weather was cold enough to freeze your face off?

But, he was relieved when Hitsugaya responded positively.

"Um, yes. That would...that would be nice."

"No, no, no!" Matsumoto whispered frantically. "Say _snow boner_. Say you would love a snow boner." However, Hitsugaya once again chose to ignore her. Because frankly, not only was that rather disgusting, but it also made virtually no sense whatsoever.

"Oh, good," Ichigo breathed. "Six o'clock tonight, okay? I'll come by Inoue's place to pick you up."

Matsumoto scribbled something on a piece of paper and handed it to her captain, insisting that he say what she had written down. Mentally, Hitsugaya scanned the message: "Great. That will give me time to get my nipples waxed."

He gave Matsumoto a look of utter revulsion, thankful that he had not blindly read it out loud. Instead, he turned away and responded as calmly as possible.

"I'll see you then."


	8. Recasting the Line

Author's Note: Thanks again to all who are patiently reading and reviewing. Words cannot describe how grateful I am and how eternally indebted I am to your kindness. If any of you have IchiHitsu, or any other fics you'd like me to review, please let me know.

I'm going to make this chapter slightly longer than the rest.

* * *

And so, after nervous sweating of various degrees, and after even more bickering, Renji somehow cajoled Ichigo into wearing some sort of terrible outfit that made him feel like he was about to be shoved onto a stage in Las Vegas and be expected to strip himself and toss his clothes to a rabid crowd. 

Yes, it was that bad.

Renji had somehow convinved him into wearing a pair of baggy trousers that hung dangerously low on his rear end, and aside from a freakish, studded leather vest that smelled suspiciously of strawberry Mentos, his upper body was completely bare. Only an idiot would wear something like that in the dead of winter. And that was what he pretty much felt like.

"Renji," he groaned, looking at himself in the mirror and barely managing to supress the urge to puke at the sight of his reflection. "Look at me. I'm a joke. I look like...like...like a freaking male stripper."

"Oh, come on, Ichigo, relax, trust me, and be a man," Renji snapped, thumping the strawberry on the back. "You've got to show some skin, okay? If you've got it, then flaunt it, you know? Don't deny the fact that you're damn buff. Remember, Hitsugaya-taichou _loves_ tough guys. And you, my friend, look real tough in that outfit."

"Are you sure?" Ichigo demanded, dubious. "He really doesn't seem like that kind of kid to me, I mean, hey, Ikkaku looks plenty tough."

"But he's bald."

"Oh. Right."

"Now, go get him!" Renji declared, shoving Ichigo down the stairs, past his sisters, who looked horrified when they saw what their brother was wearing, out the door, and onto the sidewalk, abandoning him to his fate.

Muttering to himself and making his way down the street, trying to ignore the stares and fingers pointed at his back, Ichigo grudgingly moved down the route that would take him to Orihime's place. "Tough guys my ass."

Thinking that perhaps roses were too bold and reckless of him to give, this time, he had settled for a quieter bouquet of carnations and baby's breath. He had been kind of thinking that baby's breath went well with Hitsugaya anyway – the blossoms were small and white.

When he finally reached the Inoue residence, and after the same patterns of a shocked Orihime transforming into a dejected one, he soon found himself face-to-face with Hitsugaya.

And, judging by what he knew of his personality and his glum facial expression, Ichigo knew that the outfit his little white-haired boyfriend (hopefully) was wearing had to have been insisted upon by Matsumoto.

Boy, did Matsumoto know what men liked. Just one glance was all it took for Ichigo to feel a nosebleed coming on.

The poor boy had been bullied into wearing a shirt similar to the one he had been outfitted in on their previous date, but this time, it was a deep shade of black. Being clad in dark colors, his white hair seemed whiter, for lack of a better word, than usual. And his pale skin seemed, well, paler than usual, apparently, Matsumoto had been thinking of the ideal image of Japanese beauty, which happened to include fairly pale skin. And as for the skinny jeans that seemed to be painfully constricting his lower body – they practically forced Ichigo to notice that Hitsugaya _did_ have an awfully cute ass.

Seeing Ichigo's outfit, Hitsugaya merely raised an eyebrow in an ambiguous fashion that seemed to convey a general sense of _"What the hell are you wearing?"_

Ichigo, on the other hand, was having more trouble keeping his cool. Unable to resist and control himself, much to his mortification, he blurted out, "Nice ass." _What the hell?_ What did he have to say that for? His face slowly began to heat up as he mentally cursed at himself for _always_ letting comments best left unstead slip whenever he saw the boy.

Hitsugaya's face instantly flushed a bright pink in a mad blush, and to his dismay, Ichigo could have sworn he heard him mutter, "Pervert."

"S-Sorry," Ichigo stammered, cautiously extending the flowers. "Please, um...Please accept my humble offerings." God. He sounded so freaking _stupid_ and tactless.

The blush slowly receeded from Hitsugaya's features as he took the flowers. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, I guess."

And so, the two set off again, and even a complete idiot can see the validity in the statement "History reapeats itself." Because the history of stupidity was coming back to bite Ichigo in the ass again, and it had not been satisfied quite yet.

* * *

As they slowly meandered their way down the streets, a thought suddenly struck Ichigo in the head. 

They had no idea where the heck they were going.

He had, in his determination to make everything perfect, forgotten to think of where they were going to go that night, or what they were going to do. Only the heavens knew how pathetic Ichigo felt when he realized there was nowhere to turn, and they would actually end up _really_ having to get snow cones.

"So, um, want to go to the park?" he muttered lamely, wanting a bolt of lightning to strike him dead on the spot.

He was surprised when Hitsugaya blinked and actually responded in a fairly agreeable manner. "That's alright with me."

So it was off to the park for the two of them.

Upon arriving, they discovered that the park wasn't too crowded, which was ideal for finding a pleasant place to sit on the grass. The snow cone stands were still open, and the street lamps were beginning to flicker to life as the night slowly eased itself in and the dusk took its leave. Overall, there was quite a pleasant atmosphere to it - Calm, carefree, relaxing, and even almost romantic, depending on how you look at it.

Selecting a spot atop a small, grassy knoll that overlooked Karakura town, which created a rather nice view of the town against a backdrop of the setting sun, Ichigo plopped himself down into the grass. Hesitantly, Hitsugaya followed his example and sat beside him.

"Is there any particular reason why we're here?" he demanded.

"Trust me on this," Ichigo assured. "I come here all the time. At night, the view of the lights is great, you'll love it."

Truth was, he barely ever came here at all. It was Renji's advice that had led him to the area.

Fortunately, Renji had been right. The view _was_ incredible.

As the sunset faded into darkness, slowly, the city lights began blinking and flickering until the landscape was dotted with millions of tiny and colorful flecks of light.

"Pretty, huh?" Ichigo grinned, putting his arms around Hitsugaya and drawing him closer to his body. "Hard to believe that's really Karakura Town." 

Hitsugaya merely nodded, and Ichigo took this as a positive sign.

A cold night breeze whipped around the pair, rustling the blades of grass around them in silent whispers. (If grass could sing, Ichigo assumed they'd be singing that one 'Kiss the Girl' song from _The Little Mermaid_.)

With a small, barely audible sigh of content, Hitsugaya nestled himself comfortably in Ichigo's arms, which served as a fleshy fortress against the biting winter breezes. Ichigo didn't mind at all. In fact, he liked it. No, that was a slight understatement. He _loved_ it. The boy's warm body pressed against his created a comforting sensation, like cuddling with a teddy bear, expect much better. Absently, he moved a hand upwards to weave his fingers through the boy's snowy white hair.

"Look, Toshiro," Ichigo whispered. "It's snowing."

Indeed it was.

It was freezing cold, and neither of the boys were dressed particularly warmly, but who needs jackets when you've got each other? And it's surprisingly easy to forgive the gods for cursing you with cold weather when they've also blessed you with snow.

Hitsugaya looked up at the sky from his comfortable position within the stronghold of " Fort Ichigo", and the strawberry's heart instantly melted when he saw the small smile that settled on the boy's usually stoic face.

It was time to take that chance once again.

He gently placed a hand on Hitsugaya's back and the other around his waist, pulling him onto his lap.

And then, he leaned downwards, pressing his lips against those of his little prodigy's, wrapping his arms tightly around him.

Hitsugaya's aqua eyes widened in a moment of suprise and his body tensed, but as the shock wore off, Ichigo could feel him relax in his arms. The smaller boy leaned softly into the kiss, moving his arms upwards to run his thin fingers through Ichigo's spunky orange hair.

However, the moment did not last long.

Their private little display of affection came to a tragic stop as a little girl's shriek resounded through the air.

"Look, mommy! Queers!"

"Come away, dear. If you go near them, you'll be corrupted."

There was a long and _really_ awkward silence following the departure of the mother and her child. I mean, what the hell crawled up their asses and died?

Finally, Ichigo spoke.

"Love you no matter what, Toshiro."

He laid himself down on the snow-glazed grass, ignoring the cold, frosty blades of grass pressing against his back.

Aqua eyes met with brown eyes for a fleeting moment before Hitsugaya lied down next to him, snuggling close against his chest.

"I…I love you too."

Smiling, Ichigo put his arms back around Hitsugaya, and not really caring where they were at the moment, both boys somehow drifted off to sleep in each other's company, warm, comfortable, and totally happy.


	9. Roasting, Burning Fish

Author's Note: Last chapter came out a little strangely for me. I don't know why, but I just didn't like it. Probably because I tried too hard with making the fluff...welll, fluffy. Like a sheep. Apparently, the fluffy sheep got shot.

* * *

When he had returned to Orihime's home in the morning of the following day, and upon stepping through the doorway, Hitsugaya discovered that there was something wrong. 

It wasn't the fact that Matsumoto had instantly leapt from the breakfast table to interrogate her captain about the previous night.

And it wasn't the fact that Orihime was shooting venemous glares at him, either.

Somehow, someway, and for reasons unknown, he had the strangest feeling that he had come down with a cold of sorts.

Shivers went through his body every few seconds, which was strange. Hitsugaya Toshiro _never_ feels cold. Not only that, but his throat felt raw and sticky, and the occasional cough would escape from between his lips. His head was spinning painfully, sending the room whirling in sloppy circles around him.

Then again, he wasn't going to complain about it, because it was probably his own fault for sleeping outdoors in the middle of snowy weather.

"Taichou, how was it?" Matsumoto squealed. "Did Ichigo-san say anything about-"

"Not now, Matsumoto," Hitsugaya murmured. "I need to lie down."

Raising an eyebrow, the buxom fukutaichou of the tenth division noticed that her captain's face _was_ flushed in a rather abnormal color. And upon placing her hand against his forehead, she also took note that he was burning up with the early signs of fever.

"You don't look so good, taichou," she commented. "The color of your face is way off." She then frowned, a thought coming to her head. "It's not an STD, is it? Hmm, tell you what. You go get some rest right now and I'll..."

She wasn't able to finish her sentence before Hitsugaya's knees crumpled, and with a small whimper of resignition, he slumped to the floor in a feverish faint.

"...Taichou?"

* * *

Later that afternoon, Ichigo was still in his own little dream-land, replaying the previous night over and over and over again in his mind like it was one giant, broken record. 

His family members had seemed to notice that he was spacier than usual. Yuzu had been worried, wondering if maybe he had been drinking too much or using drugs. Karin, to be blunt, really could care less, and Isshin claimed it was normal for a teenage boy to act in such a fashion, and it was all part of becoming a man.

Whatever the case was, at any rate, Ichigo just simply couldn't get his mind off of his darling little prodigy. That was all there was to it, really. No drugs, alcohol, or phases of puberty involved.

As he thought about him more and more, and as the minutes ticked by, Ichigo thought he was going to lose his mind. He just _had_ to hear Hitsugaya's voice again, he just _had_ to see his adorable face again. He was like a drug - lovely and addictive. Unable to take it anymore, the strawberry found himself wandering into his bedroom and making a phone call to Orihime's house.

To his suprise, it wasn't Orihime who answered the phone. This time, it was Matsumoto.

"Uh, hi, Rangiku-san. Mind letting me talk to Toshiro for a second?" he asked hopefully into the mouthpiece.

There was a brief pause before Matsumoto replied. "Actually, yes, I _would_ mind."

"Huh? Whaddya mean? Just let me talk to him."

"No! Not until you tell me what you did to him!"

Ichigo blinked in confusion.

"What's wrong? What happened to Toshiro?"

"You're asking _me!?_" Matsumoto shrieked into the phone. "Why don't you just be a man and confess! What freakish disease did you give him?"

"Rangiku-san, I have no idea what you're talking about! Just calm down and-"

"Calm down!? You want me to calm down!? You should be ashamed of yourself! I bet I know what you two were up to last night! If you gave him hepatitis, I swear I will shove Haineko up your sorry ass, and _then_ we'll see who needs to calm down!"

"Wait a second! I didn't give him an _STD_ if that's what you mean..."

"Liar!"

"We didn't have sex, okay? We're both still virgins, I swear! Just tell me what's wrong."

There was a long pause before Matsumoto glumly answered, "Taichou's sick."

Ichigo blinked, considering her words before it finally hit him. _He was sick_.

"Oh, shit," he muttered. "This is all my fault..."

"See!" Matsumoto shrieked in triumph. "You did _so_ give him an STD!"

"Th-That's not what I meant!" Ichigo spluttered.

"Then you got him pregnant, didn't you!? He's got morning sickness, huh!? You bastard! I'm going to rip out your hair and make a _wig_ out of it, you hear me!?"

"That's not what I meant, either! Look, just do me a favor and tell Toshiro I'll be there as soon as I can, alright?" Without waiting for a response, he hung up the phone and burst out of his room, rushing down the stairs to get ready to leave the house.

As he pulled on his jacket and shoes, he stumbled out the door and scurried off, nearly slipping on the icy pavement. He made his way as fast as he could towards the Inoue residence, dodging past passerbys and cutting through short-cut alleys.

Without even knocking, he dramatically flung open the front door, barging directly in without so much as a please or thank you. There is no room for manners when you're in a rush. He scampered into the living room, where he found Orihime mending some torn clothes.

Panting, he demanded through ragged breaths, "Where's Toshiro?"

Orihime looked up, surprised. "Kurosaki-kun? What are you here for?"

"Never you mind. Tell me where Toshiro is."

With a look of utter defeat on her face, Orihime answered, "He's in the guest bedroom with Rangiku-san," before going back to her sewing.

"Thanks," Ichigo muttered, turning tail to locate the area described. It wasn't long before he did find it, located between the bathroom and Orihime's bedroom. He was about to make a dramatic entrance when he remembered Hitsugaya wasn't feeling well, and, more than likely, loud noises and large disturbances would not help his condition much.

So, cautiously and quietly, he eased the door open, slipping inside and closing it behind him with a soft 'click.' He glanced inside the room. Matsumoto was sitting in a rocking chair, rocking back and forth in a tedious fashion whilst stirring a vile-looking herbal tea which she intended on forcing down her captain's throat in hopes that it would make him feel better.

Hitsugaya was curled up under several layers of thick blankets on a bed, which was situated against the room's left wall. A large, fluffy pillow seemed to engulf his head, and his fingers were latched tightly onto the bedsheets in such a fashion that his knuckles had turned a deathly white. His face appeared flushed a warm pink with fever, and delicate beads of sweat dotted his forehead, which a warm towel had been placed upon by Matsumoto. Shivers and coughs racked his small body, and his breaths came out in short, ragged gasps.

"Hey," Ichigo whispered as he stepped into the room. "How's he doing?"

Matsumoto looked up from the strange, suspiciously tar-colored cup of tea. She shook her head with a small frown. "Not so well, I think," she answered. "I called the doctor, but he said that, based on the symptoms I described to him, he's only come down with a cold, and it'll pass eventually."

Eyebrows creased in worry, Ichigo made his way across the room, kneeling by the bedside and placing a hand against Hitsugaya's forehead. Wincing, he quickly removed his hand. "He's burning up..."

The boy's eyes, which had previously been squeezed tightly shut, slowly fluttered open upon the direct contact of someone's hand against his head. "Ichigo...?" he whispered hoarsely.

Only it sounded more like "Itchygur."

Ichigo gave Hitsugaya a pat on the head before insisting, "Relax, okay? We want you to get better as soon as possible, so give yourself some rest, alright?"

Hitsugaya slowly nodded, soothed by Ichigo's presence.

"Great," Matsumoto beamed, shoving the cup of tea into Ichigo's hands. "Me and Orihime are going to go out to do some shopping. We'll be out for a couple hours. Don't forget to give taichou a dose of this tea every half-hour. Oh, and one dose is three teaspoons, okay? And, if he needs water, there's a pitcher downstairs, with some aspirin, and if he needs to puke, make sure he does it in the sink and not on the bed. That would be gross. Hmm, what else am I forgetting? Ah, yes, keep him company, okay? My mobile phone number is posted on the refrigerator, so call me if you need anything. Take good care of him, Ichigo! Get well soon, taichou!"

"W-Wait!" Ichigo spluttered. "Why're you leaving me!? I've got to get home-"

Matsumoto gave Ichigo a withering look. "Oh, I see," she declared in a dramatic voice. "You don't care about taichou at all, do you? You'd rather go home and read your nudie magazines, right? Oh, poor, poor, taichou, sick and frightened, and meanie Ichigo-kun doesn't care at all."

"I do _too_ care!" Ichigo screeched.

"Oh, really? Then you're going to stay with taichou and take care of him?"

Grudgingly, the strawberry surrendered. "Fine. I'll stay."


	10. Raw Fish

Ichigo had been expecting to be turned into a slave of sorts that afternoon, but he was relieved to discover that an ailing Hitsugaya was surprisingly undemanding. Most likely because he was sleeping practically the whole time, though.

Every now and then, he would take a look at the clock, and as the minutes ticked by, they seemed to convert themselves into half-hour intervals fairly quickly. He glanced at his peacefully dozing Sleeping Beauty, wondering if waking him up would be a holy sin. After all, he looked so content, and sleep was the only way that he could get relief from the irritations of his sickness.

But herbal tea was herbal tea, and Matsumoto had left the home with her utmost trust in him caring properly for the sick captain, and to disappoint her would be a holy sin, too, especially since the divine punishment could potentially involve those awful breasts from the bowels of hell.

Feeling somewhat guilty, Ichigo picked up the cup of tea from the bedside table, gently nudging Hitsugaya's shoulder. "Hey, Toshiro," he whispered. "Sorry to wake you up, but I have to give you some tea now."

With a soft moan of protest, Hitsugaya opened his eyes, groggily rolling over to face Ichigo. He blinked blearily, rubbing his eyes and struggling to sit up against the backboard of the bed, gripping the linen bedspread tightly as he did so.

"That's a good boy," Ichigo crooned, patting Hitsugaya's head. The venomous glare he received in return told him that it was best not to fawn over him like a puppy at the moment. Though it was awfully hard to resist.

"Open wide," Ichigo said cheerfully, taking a spoonful of the tea. "Here comes the airplane…"

Hitsugaya simply glared.

Ichigo tried again. "Here comes the steamboat!"

There was minimal change of response.

"Here comes the choo-choo train…?"

Hitsugaya's scowl darkened.

Ichigo sighed. "Just drink it, okay? Three spoonfuls is all, alright? That's not too bad now, is it?"

He extended the teaspoon forward, slipping the metal article of silverware between his little patient's pouting lips, tipping it in such a fashion as to ensure that every last drop of the vile substance was ingested.

Hitsugaya pursed his lips in distaste, but did nothing more as he grudgingly swallowed the bitter liquid. He coughed briefly, drawing the covers around himself, and rasped, "Two more doses."

Nodding, Ichigo administered the next two spoonfuls that were required, each dose met by the recipient with an unhappy pout. Hey, I don't think _you_ would be smiling if you had to take three doses of something as disgusting as that.

After the last drop had been swallowed, Hitsugaya murmured, "Water. Please."

"Yeah. I'll go get that for you right now," Ichigo complied, remembering Matsumoto's instruction that dictated where the water was located. He hurried to the kitchen, seizing the glass pitcher of water and filling a cup full with it.

Making his way back to the guest bedroom, being extra careful as to not spill the water on Orihime's hardwood floors, the strawberry handed Hitsugaya the cup.

"Thank you," the boy managed to whisper as he took a long sip of the water. With a sigh of content, he surrendered himself back to the confines of the bedsheets, head sinking back into the pillow as he settled himself under the covers.

"Sleep well, Toshiro," Ichigo whispered, planting a soft kiss on his white-haired prodigy's forehead before plopping himself back down on the rocking chair. Not long afterwards, the room was entirely quiet, save the sound of Hitsugaya's labored breathing, and before he knew it, Ichigo himself had dozed off as well.

* * *

When he awoke from his nap, Ichigo discovered that another half-hour had almost passed. He glanced at Hitsugaya, who was huddled under the covers, shivering violently. 

Confused, Ichigo pondered the scene for a moment. His darling little ice prince was shivering, and therefore was _cold_!? What the hell? Was something like that even possible? What could possibly explain such an occurrence? Paranormal phenomena? Extraterrestrial radio transmissions? The occult? The advent of the apocalypse? Or maybe even Chuck Norris?

At any rate, he needed some warming up, and Ichigo decided that he would be the right man for the job. But first, he would need more doses of the tea.

Hitsugaya looked most displeased when Ichigo roused him from his sleep, but his sour expression only worsed after being fed the three tea doses once again. It was quite fortunate that he looked adorable with messy bed hair, otherwise Ichigo would be pretty scared of him by now.

After he drank the proper amount, Hitsugaya pathetically plopped back into the cavernous clutches of the mountains of blankets and pillows Matsumoto had provided.

However, he was unable to remain in such a position for long as he felt a strong pair of arms wrap themselves under and around him, scooping him up into the air.

"Ichigo! Wh-what do you think you're doing!? Put me down this instant!"

"Nope," Ichigo responded cheerfully. "I don't think I will." He carried the whining and squirming taichou to the living room bridal style, with some difficulty due to the fact that he refused to stop thrashing, but he was pleased that he was as light as he looked. He then deposited him on the couch upon reaching their destination. "Don't move," he instructed. "I'll be right back, okay?"

Trusting that Hitsugaya wouldn't run off, he hurried back up the stairs to fetch the blankets and pillows, carrying them back to the room in a mass of linen goodness. He arranged the pillows on the couch around Hitsugaya in a way that he hoped would make him more comfortable, before seating himself next to him and pulling the blankets over the both of them.

Finally, he managed to get a hold of the remote control, flipping the television on before settling on a channel that was airing horror movies.

(AN: I love Japanese horror movies. I'm addicted to them. They have everything you could possibly want – blood, death, darkness…oh, and sex. The world can't live without sex.)

He wrapped his arms around Hitsugaya, pulling him close. "Poor little Shiro-chan," he teased, "Sick, cold, and frightened. But don't worry. Ichigo will protect you from the evil monsters and hollows."

"I can protect myself," Hitsugaya retorted hoarsely, but his cold words didn't quite seem to match his actions as he snuggled against the strawberry, clutching the hems of his shirt.

As the movie played, both boys watched the screen intently, though neither of them was really that scared. You get used to corpses and freakish mutants and blood after a decent shinigami career.

Presently, Ichigo looked downwards, and was only a little surprised to see Hitsugaya fast asleep in his arms, snuggled against him, head resting in his lap.


	11. Fishing Grounds

"Taichou! We're hoooooome!"

The front door came open with a loud crash as Matsumoto came skipping in, followed closely by Orihime. Both girls were clutching armfuls of shopping bags, and they noisily plopped their new purchases on the living room floor.

"Shhh!" Ichigo hissed sharply. "He's sleeping!"

"Ah," Matsumoto responded, glancing over in Ichigo's direction. She wasn't terribly surprised to see her captain snuggled like a kitten in the strawberry's lap, fast asleep, hands still clutching tightly at Ichigo's shirt.

Orihime, on the other hand, seemed to be turning green with envy. Muttering about needing a drink of water, she disappeared into the kitchen.

With a shrug, Matsumoto sat on the carpet, cross-legged, as she began to rifle through her recently purchased clothes. "How was taichou?" she inquired.

"Oh, he was a good boy," Ichigo answered, fondly patting the sleeping captain's head. "No trouble at all." He placed a hand over the boy's forehead, a smile crossing his face as he added, "I think he's mostly better by now."

"You think he'll be able to go to school tomorrow?"

Ichigo blinked. "Huh?"

Matsumoto dug around in one of the bags before pulling out two sets of school uniforms, one a girl's, and one a boy's. "I picked these up earlier today," she explained, "And I got sets for Yumichika, Ikkaku, Rukia, and Renji, too."

"Those are…Those are Karakura High uniforms," Ichigo observed.

Matsumoto rolled her eyes. "Of course they are! We enrolled in your school, and we're supposed to be disguised as high schoolers so we can keep an eye on you during the day, and look out for any hollows or Arrancar."

"You guys?" Ichigo groaned. Of course, he wouldn't mind being able to hang out with Hitsugaya all day, but as for the others…well, they would attract attention, and the student body would find him to be weirder than they already thought he was. He could just imagine them chorusing, "Oh, look, it's that Kurosaki boy, and he's decided to bring the whole freak show with him today."

"It'll be so much fun!" Matsumoto gushed. "I can't wait to get to know all of Orihime's girlfriends! And taichou is going to look _so_ cute in his uniform, right, Ichigo-san? Ah, it's been such a long time since I've last been to school…a hundred years or so, at least…I can't wait!"

Ichigo simply stared at the squealing fukutaichou in mute horror as his worst social-life-nightmare slowly began to surface.

This was not going to be pretty.

* * *

"Oi, Ichigo, something wrong?"

"Don't touch me, Keigo."

Ichigo was slouching at his seat, glumly awaiting the moment of doom when Matsumoto and company would emerge into the classroom. He was probably going to die of embarrassment when the moment of judgement came.

Rukia had already shown up, under the guise that she had been on a brief vacation visiting with some distant relatives. Some questions had arisen to why she had suddenly disappeared and reappeared, but the doubts died down after a while.

And, presently, they did arrive, all of them. Matsumoto, Hitsugaya, Ikkaku, Yumichika, and Renji. It was as if they couldn't get any more conspicuous. An orange-haired, large-breasted woman, a white-haired boy with aqua eyes, a belligerent-looking bald guy, a tattooed redhead, and a narcissist with a bowl cut.

"Osu, Ichigo!" Renji practically shouted across the room.

"Hi, Ichigo-kun!" Matsumoto squealed, waving and nudging her captain. "Taichou says hi, too!"

The class murmured amongst each other as they looked from the group of new students, back to Ichigo.

"They know him?"

"Why does Kurosaki always have something to do with the weird things that happen at school?"

"What a strange guy…"

Ichigo wanted a hollow to come along and snatch him away.

"Class, please welcome our new friends," the teacher droned. "Please make them feel at home here, and treat them with the utmost respect." He turned to the group, dismissively addressing them, "You may sit in any free seat you wish to."

Keigo's mouth fell wide open as he looked at the group of "new students" standing at the classroom's front.

"What's the matter?" Ichigo teased. "Scared of the bald one? Are you going to wet yourself?"

"That lady…" Keigo wheezed. "Her…boobs….Boobies…"

Ichigo twitched.

"But look at the white-haired one next to her!" Keigo squeaked. "He's…he's…"

Ichigo raised an eyebrow. White-haired one? Was he referring to Hitsugaya?

"He's…he's so damn pretty!" Keigo managed to choke out. "I wonder if he's single?"

A dark scowl appeared on Ichigo's face. _Oh, hell no._ He was _so_ not thinking about laying his unworthy hands on _his_ ice prince. "He's not," he snapped heatedly.

Keigo blinked. "Why so touchy all of a sudden? Ah, you like him, too, don't you? You just don't want me to get to him first, eh? Very well, Ichigo! May the best man win!"

Scowling, Ichigo muttered. "Sure." He was determined to show Keigo, that in fact, the best man _already_ had won. No way was he forking his dear Hitsugaya over to the evil sex fiend known as Asano Keigo.


	12. Interruptions in Fishing

Author's Note: Sorry I haven't updated in a while. Midterms are killing me, I swear...

Which would explain why this chapter is so short. And also, there's another _Blades of Glory_ reference in here.

* * *

When lunch time arrived, the seating arrangements were quite predictable. Ichigo sat with the usual group; Ishida, Chad, Keigo, and Mizuiro. Matsumoto had scurried off to join Orihime and her friends, and the rest of the shinigami were making their way over. 

Keigo nudged Mizuiro. "I call dibs on whitey," he whispered.

Mizuiro shrugged. "Suit yourself. He's too young for me anyway."

Ichigo simply glared venomously at Keigo, as if his very gaze could bore smoldering holes into his skull. He suppressed the urge to lunge at him and throttle him, because he knew his moment of triumph would arrive shortly.

Presently, Renji, Ikkaku, Yumichika, and Hitsugaya all reached the scene and plopped their cute little shinigami rears down amongst the group.

Ichigo made a point to smile at Hitsugaya and pat the spot next to him. "Hey, Toshiro, sit with me?"

Hitsugaya merely nodded and seated himself where Ichigo had indicated. The strawberry sent a smug grin in Keigo's direction.

But Keigo was not going down without a fight. "Hello, new friend," he beamed, addressing Hitsugaya. "My name's Asano Keigo. Would you care to share a milk carton with me?"

_What the hell?_

Hitsugaya stared blankly at him. Talk about tactless. He opened his mouth to scold the brown-haired student, but before he could utter a single word, he felt the words being denied escape as Ichigo sealed his lips with a kiss.

The strawberry broke the kiss a few moments later before placing an arm affectionately around Hitsugaya's shoulders. "You honestly don't have to answer to such a stupid question," he shrugged. "It's not worth your time."

Keigo's eyes bulged in horror. He was blowing it, blowing it…

"Oh, right," Renji suddenly said. "You're going out with Hitsugaya-taichou now, aren't you, Ichigo?"

"Really?" Ikkaku inquired, raising an eyebrow. "Wow. You're a lucky guy, Ichigo."

Hitsugaya instantly began to blush furiously, and Ichigo patted him reassuringly as if to insist that there was nothing to be embarrassed about.

Keigo looked like he was going to vomit blood.

Yumichika glanced at the defeated boy, sniffing in disdain. "Such an ugly facial expression," he commented. "No wonder Hitsugaya-taichou doesn't like you. I know _I_ certainly wouldn't. Your face is terribly ungainly."

Keigo turned to look at him, and his expression changed from one that was devastated and broken-hearted to one of manic delight.

"You know, you're not bad-looking, either…"

"Yes, yes, I know," Yumichika sighed, fluffing his hair disdainfully. "I know I'm very pretty, but just so _you_ know, ugly people like you are really not my type."

Back to the devastated-apocalypse-doom look.

* * *

When the weekend finally came back around, Ichigo was completely relieved to escape from the hell hole called "school." However, it left him kind of bored, and he wasn't too sure what he felt like doing. 

He'd really like to see Hitsugaya again, he decided, but he didn't want to annoy the boy by pestering him to go out with him for a bite to eat or something of the somewhat.

His pondering was interrupted when the phone suddenly rang, which sent the strawberry launching himself from his bedroom floor to the bedside table, where he seized the phone from the receiver with much conviction.

"Hello?"

"Ichigo?"

Ichigo frowned. "Yeah, it's me. What do you want, Renji?"

"Well, Matsumoto and Orihime are out again…so me, Ikkaku, and Yumichika are all heading down there to keep Hitsugaya-taichou company. I bet you want to come too, right?"

"Damn straight I do!"

"Okay, we're meeting there in half an hour-"

Ichigo didn't wait for Renji to finish the sentence before he tossed the phone back onto the receiver, scrambling to hi feet and making a mad dash for his closet. He pulled the door open with a flourish, throwing on a quick outfit.

He observed his reflection in the mirror for a moment, deciding his outfit would suffice, before he bounded down the stairs like a jackrabbit late for a date.

Without even saying a word to his father or sisters, he charged out the front door and scrambled down the sidewalk, nearly tripping in his haste. However, he couldn't waste any time getting over there. He imagined Hitsugaya was lonely, home alone, all by himself, and he was eager to see him again.

After a brisk jog that left him panting slightly, he finally reached the Inoue residence.

He stepped up to the door, opening it with ease, seeing that it wasn't locked.

"OI!" he yelled rather rudely. "Where are you guys?" He glanced to the side, noticing that there were several pairs of shoes lined up, denoting that Ikkaku, Yumichika, and Renji had already arrived.

Furthermore, sounds of talking and shouting from the living room told him which way to go in order to find the rest of them. He took off his shoes as well, making his way into the adjacent room, based on his sense of hearing.

Several shouts managed to pique his curiosity. What the hell was going on?

"Just do what I asked you, dammit!"

Ichigo blinked. "Renji?" he muttered.

A loud scream interrupted his thoughts.

"S-Stop it! You filthy pig! Get off me!"

He blinked again. He could recognize that voice anywhere. It sounded most definitely like Hitsugaya, and a Hitsugaya in distress at that.

As he stepped into the room, the sight that was waiting to greet him was enough to make his eyes widen and his mouth open and close in horror.

It wasn't the fact that Ikkaku and Yumichika were sitting on the couch like nothing was happening, Ikkaku brandishing a bottle of sake in one hand, a bottle of booze in the other.

It was the fact that Hitsugaya was sprawled on the floor, clad in nothing but a set of white boxers, an expression of sheer terror in his aqua eyes.

Worse yet was the fact that Renji was _on top of him_.

Ichigo opened and closed his mouth like a mentally retarded goldfish before the enormity of it all finally hit him in the face.

_"WHAT THE HELL __ARE__ YOU DOING TO TOSHIRO!?" _

"I-Ichigo!" Renji spluttered, springing away from Hitsugaya in horror. "It's not what it looks like! I swear! I was only…I…"

"You sex _demon_!" Ichigo screeched, pointing a finger accusingly at Renji. "You…You sex _fiend_! Impure! Impure! Impure!"

"No!" Renji shrieked. "I didn't do anything to him, honest!"

Ichigo crossed his arms across his chest with an infuriated huff of breath. "Thanks a lot, Renji. You invite me over, and when I come, what do I find? _You_ of all people, _raping_ my boyfriend. _My_ boyfriend."

"I can explain, if you can just wait and calm down first…"

"Then explain. I'm a patient guy. I can wait all day…."


	13. Overfished

Author's Note: I didn't really like the last chapter very much. It was kind of...bleh. I think I can do better. I _hope_ I can do better, at least. Well, last chapter ended on a semi-cliffy, didn't it? And I suppose you all want to know what Renji and Hitsugaya are doing on the floor? Rest assured, you will find out in today's installment.

Also, I'm working on a new fic. If I get enough requests, I'll put out a quick preview to it. I'll post it once I finish this fanfiction, which will end with fifteen chapters.

Thanks.

* * *

"Well, you see..." 

"Yes," Ichigo growled furiously. "I _do_ see. And I see something I wish I didn't."

"He wasn't doing anything to me," Hitsugaya muttered in a rather embarassed tone. "He was just..."

"It's okay, Hitsugaya-taichou," Renji said quickly, eyes darting from the boy captain, to Ichigo, and back. "I'll explain it to him."

"Then hurry up and explain to me already!" Ichigo roared in such a manner that even Yumichika looked up in surprise. Ikkaku, however, was immersed in the task of taking a swig of sake, and then a swig of booze, and then a swig of sake _and_ booze _together_ to see what its effects would be, so, naturally, he didn't respond very noticably, save a loud belch that reeked of alchohol.

"Well, um," Renji began, "You see, no one really invited us here. We kind of invited ourselves. So, when we got here, Hitsugaya-taichou was still sleeping, and he, um, apparently sleeps in his boxers...Anyway, so that explains why he's partially nude..."

At this, the white-haired prodigy gave Renji a venemous glare, as if everything was his fault. Which it kind of was.

"And then, well, we wanted to watch television, but Hitsugaya refused to hand over the remote control..."

Another glare.

"...So I, uh, started tickling him. So he'd let us use the remote. And I somehow ended up on top of him."

The temperature was beginning to drop. All eyes moved nervously across the room to look warily upon a very pissed off Hitsugaya, whose icy reiatsu was leaking all over the place in an ominous fashion. This couldn't be too good.

"That's all?" Ichigo inquired.

"Yeah. That's all. I swear."

"You didn't say anything suggestive to him?"

"No."

"You didn't...touch him? In funny places?"

"No!"

"So you didn't...rape him?"

"N-No! Of course not! I'd never do something like that to him!"

"But you wish you could," Ikkaku cut in. Renji stared at him in horror, Ichigo almost threw up, Yumichika smacked his head for being crass, and the room got colder still.

"You tickled him?"

"I guess..."

Ichigo crossed the room, moving over to Ikkaku and snatching the bottle of booze from his hands, despite his protests, downing what was left in three messy gulps. The sake was treated in a similar fashion. He threw the empty bottles to the floor before inhaling deeply.

Without warning, he suddenly lunged across the room at the Renji, who let out a yelp of horror and made a desperate attempt to flee. The velocity of the strawberry hurling himself through the air, however, was insurmountable, similar to a drunken, orange-topped demonic missle from hell determined to avenge the wounded pride of his precious snow prince. Within what seemed to be less than a nanosecond, Renji found himself being tackled, pinned to the floor, and shortly after, a fist made contact with his face.

"What was that for!?" Renji spluttered, now sporting a bloody nose.

"That was for deflowering Toshiro!" Ichigo fumed.

"I did not _deflower_ him!" Renji retorted. "I merely tickled him! That's not deflowering-"

"You assaulted an innocent boy who was only half-dressed! You pervert!"

"I'm not a pervert, damn you! Stop yelling!"

And yet, the room just kept on getting colder and colder...

Yumichika fell asleep.

Ikkaku was dead drunk, and pretty much as asleep as Yumichika was.

Renji and Ichigo kept yelling.

And Hitsugaya fumed quietly.

"Make your nose stop bleeding!" Ichigo ordered. "You're going to stain Inoue's carpet!"

"What the hell are you yelling at me for!? You're the one who gave me this freaking bloody nose, 'cause your're bloody drunk!" Renji screeched.

"You should have thought about that before you decided to steal my Toshiro's purity!"

"You're acting like I raped him!"

"Because you practically did!"

"Tickling is in no way sexual, you orange-headed freak!"

"You're in denial! You're in denial! Admit to your sins, you filthy, perverted, redheaded pig! Admit it!"

"Hey, I'm not the one who's sleeping with him!"

_"Shut up! Both of you!"_

Ichigo turned, looking over his shoulder to see a very grumpy Hitsugaya with his arms crossed over his chest and his knees pulled up against his body.

An almost-naked Hitsugaya. Trying in vain to cover himself. White boxers. Matching white hair. Really pissed-off eyes (the most gorgeous eyes in the world, Ichigo thought), and a really pissed-off voice (which also happened to be a very sexy voice, Ichigo thought secondly).

"..."

Long pause.

The whole scene was just much to sexy for Ichigo to bear.

He hurled himself across the room, flinging his arms around Hitsugaya's neck in a strangling embrace. "I'm sorry I didn't protect you from the evil sex fiend, Toshiro!"

"Get off me!" Hitsugaya yelped. This was almost as bad as Matsumoto's death hugs. Except Matsumoto's were worse. And Ichigo with Godzilla-sized boobs was _not_ something he ever wanted to even imagine. He wriggled about in Ichigo's grasp, letting out a long stream of swear words and insults.

"You damned strawberry...Get your filthy hands off me, or I will kick you back to Soul Society...are you listening to me? Let go!"

However, he felt as if his harsh words were being plucked right out of his mouth and transformed into something sweet and fluffy. One of Ichigo's arms wrapped around his bare shoulders, plus another of his arms wrapped around his nearly-bare waist equaled a very strange sensation indeed. A simple equation that the boy genius had no trouble at all registering in his clever little mind.

"Bastard! Let me go! Release me at once, you fiend...I...I...I _love_ you so much, I..."

Horrified at the words that had unconciously leaked out of his mouth, Hitsugaya's face instantly flushed bright red.

Ichigo didn't seem to mind, though.

He rescued the boy from embarassment by sealing off his leaking mouth with a kiss. A rough, sloppy, and undignified kiss.

Unfortunately, Hitsugaya happened to be a neat freak. One of those borderline OCD neat freaks. And sloppy didn't quite cut it for him.

And unfortunately, Ichigo taking firm hold of his ass was a little too much for him.

With a hiss of fury, he slammed his foot into Ichigo's stomach, kicking the strawberry away from him.

"Ichigo...You...You're drunk, damn you!"

With that, Hitsugaya rose to his feet and stormed out of the room, his level of anger signified by the amount of icicles that were slowly forming on the ceiling. There was a long pause before the sound of him slamming the guest bedroom door shut told the tale of one pissed of taichou.

Ichigo stared dumbly at the empty space where Hitsugaya had been a few seconds ago, hands still frozen in a cupped, ass-grabbing posture.

"T...Toshiro...?"

Renji glared venemously at the strawberry.

"Now tell me, Ichigo, who's the pervert?"


	14. Fishy Fishy Fishy

Author's Note: Last time, I left you guys off with a _very_ pissed of Hitsugaya...Ichigo's been a bad boy, and it's going to get worse yet...

And thanks to all who are still reviewing.

* * *

"Um, so…what do we do now?" 

"You're asking me!?" Renji spat. "Go apologize to him! I've never seen him this mad before…You really screwed up this time, Ichigo."

"I did?" Ichigo asked stupidly.

"Yes, you did, you moron! Now sober up and go apologize!"

Pause.

"Huh?"

"Oh, for the love of…" Renji seethed. "You really _are_ drunk!"

"I am?"

"Yes, goddammit! You are _totally_ drunk, you stupid strawberry!"

"I'm not drunk!" Ichigo retorted. "I'm not drunk! I'm not drunk! I'm not drunk! I'm not drunk! I'm drunk not…Drunk I'm not…Not I'm drunk…Not drunk I'm…Drunk not I'm….Hey, I'm not drunk! The prophecy says so! I was never drunk! Just ask the Loch Ness Monster, it'll tell you everything!"

Renji stared at him in disbelief. "Uh, yeah. You're drunk What the hell was Ikkaku drinking anyway?" He looked to the floor, where the empty bottles were still positioned in a rather depressing fashion.

"Sake and booze….No, sake _plus_ booze. What was he thinking? Kami, he's almost as bad as Matsumoto!"

No sooner had the words come out of his mouth, a sudden chill overcame the already cold room.

_Oh, snap. _

Renji looked up to see Hitsugaya, who had left the guest bedroom and reentered the living room. He was now fully dressed, which actually made him all the more scary. One look was all it took to judge that he was _not _a happy camper at all.

"My Shiro-chan!" Ichigo bawled in drunken delight. "Yay! I knew you'd come back in the end! C'mere and give your sugar daddy a lap dance!" He added to his shouts of glee by singing at the top of his lungs. _"I'm too sexy for my shirt! Too sexy for my shirt!!" _

Before he could get the part about being "So sexy, it hurts," he was suddenly interrupted by a solid, vicious, slap to the face.

"What was that for?" he whined pitifully, clutching his cheek and looking up to see a _very_ angry Hitsugaya. And, to be short, that was actually quite a scary sight. Even a drunk man could see that, and even a drunk man could learn to fear that.

"First of all," Hitsugaya hissed, "I am _not_ your 'Shiro-chan.' Second of all, you are _not_ my 'sugar daddy.' And third of all…."

"I'm sexy?" Ichigo tried hopefully.

"Third of all, what the hell are you fools still doing here?"

"S-Sorry, Hitsugaya-taichou!" Renji spluttered. "Please don't get mad at Ichigo, it's not his fault, he's drunk, and I'll clean up the mess, and…"

"Get out, all of you."

"Y-Yes, sir, I'll leave as soon as I…"

_"Did I not make myself clear? Get the hell out." _

By now, the room was so cold that Renji thought the snot in his nose was going to turn into ice. That wouldn't be pleasant. Already, very sharp and dangerous-looking icicles were dangling precariously from the ceiling, and the floors and walls were slick with a coat of ice.

Yumichika seemed to spring awake, taking one look at Hitsugaya before letting out a terrified squeak. He scooped up the empty alcohol bottles, grabbing the sleeping Ikkaku by the collar of his shirt and dragging him out the door, followed closely by Renji, who was struggling to pull a thrashing Ichigo out with him.

"T-Toshiro! I thought you loved me! You can't kick me out! It ain't fair! Aren't we homeboys? We're homeboys, right? We're cool, right? We're hip, we're with it…"

"Shut up!" Renji smacked the back of Ichigo's head. "Stop talking! I don't even know what the hell you're babbling about! Do you _want_ our asses to be frozen off by Hyorinmaru? Do you? Huh? Is that what you want!?"

After dragging Ichigo all the way back to the Kurosaki residence, Renji dumped him on the front steps and went around back to fetch the garden hose, which he blasted directly into the strawberry's flushed face.

Spluttering and flailing upon contact with the icy water, Ichigo shot into a sitting position as he rubbed frantically at his eyes, choking on the water that had made its way into his mouth. Fortunately, Renji had done the right thing, because the action seemed to be adequate enough to sober up the previously drunken strawberry.

"Huh? Where am I?" Ichigo blinked, as water dripped down the side of his face.

"You're in front of your house, dumbass."

"Really? But weren't we just at Inoue's house with Toshiro?"

"Yeah," Renji growled, "And that was _before_ you got drunk. Man, you have no idea how pissed of Hitsugaya-taichou is right now. He'll probably skin you alive next time he sees you."

Ichigo's eyes widened in panic. "Wh-What did I do!?" he spluttered in horror.

"I'll tell you what you did. You got drunk. You grabbed his _ass_. And then you asked him for a lap dance. If I was Hitsugaya-taichou, I'd be pretty mad, too."

"Oh, god," Ichigo gasped, mortified as he covered his face with his hands. "Dammit, what have I done? He probably hates me now."

"That about sums it up. Now, I suggest you figure out a way to get him to forgive you if you want to live to see the day of tomorrow. Good luck with that, Ichigo."

* * *

Author's Note: Oh, boy, is Ichigo in trouble. He'd better think of a way to earn forgiveness, quick, 'cause next chapter...is the last chapter! 

If I get enough requests, though, I'll make a sequel, 'cause I already have a few plans. It involves lots of drama, lots of alchohol, lots of cracky, screwed-up sexual humor, lots of _DiamondDust Rebellion _references, and...what!? Our Hitsugaya, trapped in a love triangle!? Ooh, that'll be juicy. It might even be rated M. Just maybe. But you're not going to get it unless you request it! So request like there's no tomorrow, dammit.


	15. The End of the Fishing Trip

Author's Note: Can it be? The last chapter of _Fishing_? Yes, it can be, deal with it. I suppose you'll all be wanting a happy ending, so I'll throw one to you, though it's actually, to be short, a load of cheesy crap. Oh, well. I suppose I'll have plenty of chances to redeem myself in the sequel.

Speaking of sequels, if time permits, I may even upload the first chapter later today!

* * *

Isshin, Yuzu, and even Karin couldn't help but notice that Ichigo was quieter than usual. 

He had spent the whole day locked up in his room, lying on his bed and punching his pillow in frustration. He had refused to come out, and the only responses to their inquiries on what had happened were a series of infuriated shrieks, which frankly scared the bejeezus out of them.

He looked like he was lazing around, but actually; Ichigo was quite busy multitasking, doing two things. Firstly, he was moping. Moping does take a lot of effort, believe it or not, but it isn't as easy as it looks to be. Secondly, he was thinking. Of course, his mind was working furiously to figure out a way to earn forgiveness from a certain white-haired prodigy he had the misfortune of pissing off.

What to do?

Maybe show up at the doorstep with a smile and a box of chocolates?

That would probably make things worse.

Offer sex?

No, that would make things _beyond _worse. In fact, the apocalypse would be a severe understatement.

His thinking was interrupted by the ringing of the phone, and with a final smack at his pillow, he picked up the phone with a groan.

"Hello?"

"Ichigo, bad news."

The strawberry frowned. "Renji? The hell you want? I'm busy."

"Ichigo, listen to me. Hitsugaya-taichou's going back to Soul Society."

"He's going back…wait, what!? What did you say? He's going back!?"

"Yes, he is, and you'd better get your sorry as over there right now before it's too late to apologize!"

(Author's Note: Hey, isn't that a song? Ugh. I hate One Republic)

"Got it."

Ichigo tossed the phone back onto the receiver, completely missing, but not really caring at the least. There was no time at all to keep thinking, he'd just have to improvise before Hitsugaya left without giving him a chance to make it up.

He threw the bedroom door open, charging down the stairs like never before. He made his way past his sisters, launching himself towards the front door. Almost there…

_SMACK. _

He smashed right into Isshin.

The impact sent Ichigo skidding backwards on his rear, which now, was really sore, and that didn't ease the panic he was feeling at all.

"Where're you off to, Ichigo?" Isshin inquired.

"No time to talk," Ichigo wheezed as he scrambled back to his feet and set off on his course towards the door again. "I've got to leave now."

"Ah," Isshin mused, seeming to understand. "Don't forget, son," he called out the door after Ichigo, who was sprinting down the sidewalk as if he was being pursued by the devil himself. "It's just like fishing!"

"Fishing my ass," Ichigo growled to himself through gritted teeth. "Fish aren't sexy. Fish don't get pissed off at you. And fish don't go back to Soul Society."

He continued to run, feet pounding painfully on the sidewalk as he dodged around pedestrians, or shoved by them. People from all sides were shouting at him to watch where he was going, but there was simply no time to do that.

He finally arrived at the Inoue residence, gasping for breath as if he had been running for his life. Well, in a way he was. Running for his love life. Which would be wrecked and shattered into a thousand pieces if he didn't keep running.

He threw the door open, finding it was yet again unlocked. Looking around, and judging by the lack of noise, it was a given fact that Matsumoto and Orihime still had not returned. That was good, because he'd have to do a lot of confessing, and he didn't want them around to hear it and laugh at him for it.

Ichigo quickly made his way up the stairs, finding the guest bedroom with ease. He opened the door, and stepped inside…

Only to find it was empty.

His heart froze and sweat formed on his brow. Had he come too late? Had Hitsugaya already left?

He almost had a heart attack as the flushing of a toilet told him there was still human presence in the house. Or rather, shinigami presence.

Hitsugaya appeared in the room a few seconds later, after emerging from the bathroom, a surprised expression popping onto his features as he caught site of Ichigo, who was still standing there like an idiot.

"Ichigo? Didn't you leave a few hours ago?"

"Y-Yeah. But I came back."

"Then I'll ask you to leave again," Hitsugaya responded coldly, walking straight past him and getting down on his hands and knees, reaching under the bed and pulling out a small suitcase, which he opened.

"I heard you're going back to Soul Society," Ichigo continued nervously.

"Yes, and it doesn't concern you," Hitsugaya retorted as he crossed the room, moving to the closet and taking out several articles of clothing, which he then began to fold neatly and put into the suitcase in an orderly fashion.

"Y-You can't leave me!" Ichigo spluttered. "You can't go back!"

"I will if I want to."

"Why? Just tell me why."

Hitsugaya gave him an icy glare. "Why? Because I'm sick of this place, and I'm sick of my lazy subordinates who want to do nothing but drink alcohol all day, and I'm sick of being near _you_."

"Me!?" Ichigo yelped. "Me!? What did I do!?"

"You showed up along with Renji, Ikkaku, and Yumichika, uninvited, and you three made a mess, a mess that _I_ had to clean up. Really, Ichigo, I thought you had what others didn't – respect. That's what I saw in you. But you've just forced me to throw away that notion. Was that what you'd call respect? I've discovered that you're a shallow, lecherous fool with alcoholic inclinations, and respect for me is something I've found that you lack."

"I'm not an alcoholic!" Ichigo protested. "I was just mad at Renji…Honestly, Toshiro, I didn't know we were uninvited. Renji just told me to come along, and not that I'm blaming him, but, I was only mad that he was, um, tickling you, 'cause I know you don't like that kind of thing, and, really, I was only thinking of you, Toshiro…"

"It's _Hitsugaya-taichou_."

Oh, dear. This was not good. Only a few days before, Hitsugaya hadn't minded being called "Toshiro" at all, but now, it was back to a captain-subordinate relationship.

"Look, I'm sorry, okay? Maybe you're just overreacting."

Hitsugaya made no effort to respond as he snapped the suitcase shut and got back to his feet, picking the case up and securing his katana.

"Toshiro, please, just hear me out…"

"That's enough, Kurosaki. I don't want to hear any more of it. Good bye."

"Toshiro, you can't do this to me!" Ichigo protested, reaching out and grabbing the boy by the wrist. "Come on, don't just walk away from me. Can't you forgive me?"

"And why should I?"

"Why?" Ichigo repeated desperately. "Why else? Please don't make me suffer, watching the boy I've loved, and still love, turn his back on me over a misunderstanding."

There was a long silence.

"Well, maybe you deserve to suffer."

By this time, Ichigo was starting to get frustrated. He was resisting the urge to start clawing his hair out of his scalp and start screaming various obscenities at the young captain, for that would only worsen things.

"Toshiro, don't be like that," he implored. "I love you, and I respect you. I really do."

Hitsugaya looked at him dubiously. "Prove it."

Ichigo inhaled deeply. This was his last resort. Kill or be killed. Do or die.

Slowly, he put his arms around Hitsugaya in a gentle hug, pulling him close. After a few moments, he shifted his position to allow himself to bring his lips forward and place them against the smaller boy's in a soft kiss.

And as they kissed, and Ichigo hoped, that this would erase any doubts and/or anger that his little ice prince was feeling towards him. Hitsugaya dropping the suitcase to the floor and wrapping his arms around the strawberry's neck, deepening the kiss, told him that maybe, just maybe, everything would be alright.

A moment later, Hitsugaya pulled away, snapping Ichigo out of his sensational dreamland.

"Idiot," he muttered quietly. "You drooled on me."

"Sorry," Ichigo apologized sheepishly as he sat down on the bed. "My salivary glands are just sensitive to sexiness. You see, when something is deemed super-hot on their sex-o-meter, they'll just get out of control."

"Nice try, Ichigo, but that really wasn't funny," Hitsugaya responded, sitting down next to him, but the tiny smile on his face said otherwise.

"So, um, are you still leaving?"

"No. It would be a shame if your 'salivary glands' were to stay dry for the rest of your life."

"Ah, so you _do_ know that you're the most gorgeous thing ever to walk the earth."

"Shut up, idiot," Hitsugaya murmured, before lacing his slender fingers with Ichigo's and resting his head on his shoulder.

"Fine, but you'll have to be quiet too," Ichigo agreed, putting his arm around Hitsugaya's shoulders.

"Make me."

"Sure."

And with that, Ichigo leaned downwards to seal Hitsugaya's lips with another long and drooly kiss.

And this time, Hitsugaya decided that sloppy was forgivable.

Only if it was Kurosaki Ichigo, that is.

* * *

Author's Note: There you have it, there's the end of _Fishing_. Hope you guys all liked it, and I'm amazed that some of you have actually been reviewing since the time when I posted the very first chapter. As a repayment to you, my kind readers, of course, as previously mentioned, I'll have a sequel for you. I'll post the first chapter hopefully today, but if not, definetely tomorrow.

Thanks!

- Open Casket Ceremony


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